Reality Check: Who’s In Control?

“He’s going to college, Lord…COLLEGE!!!! What if he meets the wrong people? What if he doesn’t study and loses his scholarship? What if someone hits him over the head and takes his money? What if he doesn’t match the right shirt with the right pair of jeans? ... read more

More Than
Fine

I saw her moving slowly through the slacks aisle in a local department store, shopping but seeing nothing. I understood. The image of her beautiful daughter who had passed away tragically several months before ... read more

Judge Not...
Even When...

For some reason I have the unenviable ability to pass judgment on people and situations and get caught with my foot in my mouth time and time again. Let me give you just one example...read more

The Little Old Lady From...

Her name was Mrs. Wallace. Just saying the name- Mrs. Wallace- and immediately
I picture that tiny little lady with extremely short naturally curly and seldom washed hair. A little lady with jack-in-the-box teeth that needed no prompting to pop in and out of her mouth ...read more

Shingles in the Darkness

It was a night of firsts: my first bad storm by myself. My first time to deal with high winds, then no electricity. My first time to not have my always calm, strong husband check out the storm for me. The love of my life for over 35 years had ... read more

Have you ever wondered what to say (or not say) to a woman who has become a widow?

In our fear of saying something that might be even more hurtful for a woman in her loss, we often say nothing OR – and perhaps worse yet – we make a statement that unintentionally inflicts more heartache.

I will be periodically adding tips for anyone wanting to minister to a widow and needing insight as to what to say and do, or NOT say and do, for a woman experiencing the “World of the Widow.”


Tip #1: Encourage her to ask for help. Encourage her to ask for help. Encourage her to ask for help. And, if you are still in doubt, encourage her to ask for help.

There will be a time when the realization that “I cannot do this by myself.” hits and the widow recognizes that she needs help. As friends, family, church family and simple acquaintances, you are waiting in the wings to help her. Eaves need to be cleaned out, lawns mowed, oil changed, furniture moved, trees cut down, meetings kept, babysitters called, bills paid, plants watered, boards replaced, rooms painted, food cooked, Christmas lights strung, laundry folded, gardens tilled, prayers lifted. So many of you are waiting…thinking… “If only she will ask.” Feel free to ask the widow first. It may be a new experience for her – to ask for help. She’s always had her husband there to tackle the list of things to be done…but that has changed. So please ask.

Tip #2: Your life will go on as usual after her loss. Do not assume that hers will do the same. Because it will not.

Once the initial shock of loss is over, people tend to return to their pre-loss lives. Sympathy cards that arrived by the hundreds are soon replaced by bills and credit card promotions. “How are you doing?” phone calls are replaced with silence. Please do not forget women who have lost their husbands! As Christians they know Who holds tomorrow. And, as Paul Harvey says, “…(we) know the rest of the story.” We do not mourn as the rest of the world, but we ARE mourning. Just continue, in the weeks and months ahead, to let us know that you care.


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